Crossdress Ch68part1

The room was a little cold.

Xu Yan felt the person holding him tightly, the scorching heat radiating from their body. It was the first time he had seen Wen Sinian like this, his heart twinged, but his hands still pushed against him. “Let go of me…”

But the harder he pushed, the tighter the embrace became, clinging to him like an annoying stray dog, refusing to leave his arms.

Xu Yan grew irritated and pushed harder, even lifting his leg to kick him.

“You smell like smoke. Don’t hug me.”

Wen Sinian loosened his grip slightly, but before Xu Yan could pull his leg back, his foot landed solidly on Wen Sinian’s rock-hard abs. A sharp pain shot through his toes, and Xu Yan winced, his brows furrowing tightly.

Why was this man so hot and hard all over, like a red-hot steel plate? It hurt so much.

Wen Sinian immediately pulled back, lifting Xu Yan’s foot and removing his sock. He turned on his phone’s flashlight and shone it on the foot.

The pale skin under the light almost seemed to glow, the plump toes slightly reddened. Wen Sinian held it gently, looking up at him. “Does it hurt?”

Xu Yan felt wronged, he had been the one trying to kick him, yet Wen Sinian acted like nothing had happened while his own toes were nearly broken.

“It hurts… Be gentle.”

Wen Sinian placed the flashlight on the bed, holding Xu Yan’s ankle with one hand and carefully massaging his foot with the other, making sure he hadn’t injured any bones.

The moment his skin touched Xu Yan’s, the warm, smooth sensation under his palm made the suppressed heat rise again. The light revealed a faint red mark around the delicate ankle and a slight tooth mark on one of the toes—left from last time, not yet faded.

Wen Sinian swallowed hard, his voice low as he gently massaged the foot, then leaned down and kissed it softly.

“Sorry, baby. Next time, if you want to kick me, warn me first. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Xu Yan immediately pulled his foot back, stunned by his words. Did that mean next time he wanted to kick him, Wen Sinian would obediently offer himself up?

How twisted.

Noticing Wen Sinian’s gaze on him, Xu Yan’s face flushed. He pointed at the phone on the bedside table. “Turn off the light.”

Wen Sinian did as he was told, and the room returned to darkness.

Xu Yan shifted further onto the bed and set his conditions first. “You’re not allowed to hug me, touch me, or kiss me. I’m talking to you now.”

Wen Sinian remained kneeling between his legs, tilting his head up to look at him. “Got it.”

Xu Yan continued, “From now on, whatever I ask, you have to answer truthfully. No more lying to me.”

“Okay.”

“Swear you won’t lie to me.”

“I swear.”

Xu Yan grabbed his hand and raised it. “Swear like this.”

“I swear, if I lie to you again, may I die young…”

Xu Yan covered his mouth. “Okay, okay, don’t say that.”

Wen Sinian’s heart tightened, so he really cared.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Xu Yan avoided the question. “I’m the one asking the questions. You’re not allowed to ask me.”

Wen Sinian was patient. “Okay, ask.”

Xu Yan thought for a moment. “When did you realize I was Yanyan?”

“Before you took the initiative to add me on WeChat.”

Xu Yan’s eyes widened. Sure enough, he had known from the very beginning, earlier than he had guessed.

But Xu Yan was still confused. “I never exposed my personal information or showed my face. How did you know?”

“Your legs.”

“Ah…” Xu Yan tugged at his pants, feeling it was possible.

Wen Sinian’s tone was calm. “Your legs are beautiful, and there’s a mole on your thigh. Maybe many people don’t notice, but I remembered it after seeing it once. During that time, I was off my medication and often boxed until my body and mind went numb, but seeing your photo was the only thing that could stir a reaction in me. At first, I really did like your legs, your body, so when you added me on WeChat, I was happy but also worried you were like that with everyone on the list…”

Xu Yan listened, interrupting, “I never—”

“Only with me?”

Xu Yan forgot he wasn’t supposed to let him ask questions and admitted, “I only sent photos to you.”

“Yes, baby,” Wen Sinian leaned closer in the darkness, his voice low. “I like you. I like you the most.”

Xu Yan asked, “Then why didn’t you tell me from the start?”

“I was afraid that if you knew the person behind the screen was me, you’d run away,” Wen Sinian said. “But as we chatted every day, I liked you more and more. When I saw you in person, I wanted to be by your side, to hold you and kiss you openly. But I was afraid you’d be disgusted by my initial intentions and leave me, just like this.”

Xu Yan didn’t speak. In truth, Wen Sinian’s fears weren’t unfounded. If he had known from the beginning that “Year” was Wen Sinian, he would have stayed far away, and none of this would have happened between them.

Wen Sinian slowly lowered himself, resting his forehead gently on Xu Yan’s knee.

“No matter what excuse I find, I was wrong. Baby, please give me one more chance, okay? You can be angry, you can hit me or scold me, just don’t break up with me, okay?”

Xu Yan pressed his lips together, staring at the dark figure before him, lost in thought. He still didn’t speak. Wen Sinian’s heart felt like it was being held in someone else’s hand, suspended on the edge of a cliff. His life or death was in Xu Yan’s hands, one word from him, and he would either be reborn or shattered.

His heart pounded. It had been a long time since he’d felt this tense, this suffocated.

“Baby, when I saw the messages you sent me last night, my heart nearly broke. I couldn’t help but drive over to find you, but I didn’t dare face you.”

“Baby, I like you. I don’t want to lose you. Everything I just said was from the heart. I wasn’t lying to you.”

“Baby, don’t leave me, okay?”

“Baby…”

Wen Sinian repeated the word over and over, his head lowered. If Xu Yan really said he wanted to break up, the icy, rational facade he always wore might collapse right there.

Xu Yan wasn’t heartless. After a long silence, his knee growing numb from the pressure, he shifted slightly and said in a quiet voice, “I never said I wanted to break up with you…”

Wen Sinian’s head snapped up, looking at him.

He had already grown accustomed to the darkness, and the faint moonlight filtering through the window allowed him to see those bright, glistening eyes.

Xu Yan muttered, “I said I didn’t want to talk to you because we were fighting.”

In an instant, it was as if fresh blood rushed back into his limbs, rebirth.

Wen Sinian gently rubbed his forehead against Xu Yan’s knee, his breath trembling slightly, his eyes stinging with an uncontrollable ache.

The suspended heart seemed to be gently placed back into his chest.

So that was it. It wasn’t a breakup.

It was just a fight.

Xu Yan propped himself up on his hands, feeling a tickle on his leg as he tilted his head to look at the man before him.

Such a big man, yet he insisted on clinging and rubbing against him. Pushing him away and kicking him only made him cling more.

But seeing him rub against him endlessly, Xu Yan simply reached out, grabbed his tie, and pulled him up from his knee, saying fiercely, “But I’m still angry. I haven’t forgiven you. After this fight, don’t make me angrier.”

Wen Sinian looked up, his tie held in a small, fair hand, the other end tethering him like a leash on a dog.

On that hand was something shiny, a ring.

He had left everything else behind, but he had not taken off the ring.

Wen Sinian’s mind went blank. “Okay, I won’t make you angry. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. Just… make you happy, okay?”

If it meant he could forgive him, he would do anything, even be his dog.

Xu Yan pondered for a moment. “Then you’ll go back to the City tomorrow.”

The figure in the darkness stiffened. Wen Sinian’s voice carried a hint of suppressed pain. “Anything but that, baby. I can’t leave you. Let me stay here. I won’t bother you. Just let me see you every day, okay?”

Xu Yan pouted, somewhat satisfied. “You said you’d listen to me just now. If you’re lying to me again…”

Wen Sinian’s heart, which had been in his throat, finally settled. He had been given another chance.

He loosened his tie, turning his head away, huffing as he spoke.

Wen Sinian dared not touch or hug him casually and, for once, didn’t know how to explain himself. “I… I just wanted to be by your side.”

Suddenly, he pulled out Xu Yan’s white phone from his pocket, placed it next to his own shattered-screen phone, operated both for a moment, and then showed Xu Yan the red dot on the location app of the white phone. In a low, coaxing voice, he said, “I’ll stay here, and you can monitor me, alright? I’ve deleted the tracker from this phone. If you’re okay with it, you can leave this phone here every day. I won’t be able to track you anymore. But if you want, you can always know where I am and what I’m doing.”

Xu Yan didn’t take it. “I don’t want to monitor you. That’s weird. It’s very…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, it was too unpleasant. But Wen Sinian understood and handed him the phone anyway, as if handing him the power to choose.

“Very perverted, very sick, I know,” Wen Sinian said. “Maybe I really am sick. You don’t have to make this request. I’m asking you, please do this.”

“Please, control me.”

***

Wen Sinian left. That white phone was left on the bedside table.

Xu Yan didn’t let him stay the night, instead telling him to go into town and find a small hotel.

He sat on the bed in a daze for a while. Then the lights in the living room suddenly turned on.

Xu Yan came out and switched them off, guessing immediately who had paid the electric bill.

Using the white phone, he called Shang Jia and asked her to help pay the electricity bill via a mini app. He’d return the money when they met the next day.

For Shang Jia, it was no big deal. She opened the app and said, “You’ve got enough electric balance here to last ten years. Did it really need topping up?”

Xu Yan hung up, thinking to himself that Wen Sinian even knew this house was a re-rented unit. Just how much had he paid?

It was too late to scold him now. That could wait until tomorrow. Xu Yan glanced at the white phone, tempted to check where Wen Sinian was staying that night, but he hesitated. Instead, he turned on his space heater and crawled under the blanket to apply ointment, then turned off the lights and went to sleep.

***

The next morning, Xu Yan rode his little scooter to meet Shang Jia and Shen Nanli. The three had agreed to meet at the market to sell their goods while waiting for the middle-aged man from yesterday to show up.

Shang Jia patted Xu Yan on the shoulder. “Did you sleep well last night?”

Xu Yan yawned. “Kinda.”

Actually, he didn’t sleep well at all. It had been especially cold the past few days, and southern houses didn’t have heating. Even with the heater on, his bed never got warm enough.

Xu Yan huddled into himself as his mind spun with everything Wen Sinian had said. He only managed to fall asleep around midnight.

Shang Jia’s eyes were sharp. She stared at him. “Your boyfriend came?”

Xu Yan jumped, looking around, but didn’t see any sign of Wen Sinian.

Shang Jia said, “Who are you looking for? I meant, did Wen Sinian come to see you?”

Xu Yan buried his face in his scarf. “How did you know…”

Shang Jia reminded him, “The electric bill. Who else would do something like that? Why did he come? Knew you were mad and came to coax you?”

Xu Yan nodded. “Mm.”

Shang Jia was furious. “You better not go soft and forgive him just like that. Let him stew a while! Unless he gets down on his knees to apologize, you’re not allowed to forgive him!”

Xu Yan: “…”

…Well, he did get on his knees and apologize last night, so what now?