Crossdress Ch65part1

Lin Xingxian couldn’t make sense of his discovery no matter how much he thought about it. After considering all the possibilities, there was only one conclusion:

The person in front of him was the very muse he had been desperately chasing, his internet male “goddess”!

He suddenly shot up from the couch and started pacing back and forth in front of Xu Yan, making it impossible for Xu Yan to focus on the TV. Chewing on a bite, Xu Yan looked up at him with a puzzled expression.

After a few seconds of eye contact, Lin Xingxian suddenly shouted, “`Ah- !”

The more he looked, the more convinced he became. No wonder he’d had a sudden surge of inspiration when he previously invited Xu Yan to model for him, it turned out he had been enamored with the same person all along.

“What’s wrong?” Xu Yan asked as he wiped his cheek with the back of his hand. “Is there something on my face?”

Lin Xingxian hesitated several times, but in the end, he couldn’t hold it in anymore.
“Yanyan, have you ever posted photos of yourself online?”

Xu Yan immediately stopped chewing, his innocent wide eyes staring at Lin Xingxian. He blinked and almost choked.

“Why are you asking… that all of a sudden?”

Lin Xingxian pulled up his account page and showed it to him.
“I won’t beat around the bush. Look, this is me, and this ‘X’ alt account is also me. You’re ‘Yanyan,’ right?”

His confident tone made Xu Yan panic. He gave a last-ditch denial, “Do you really think that looks like me?”

Lin Xingxian snapped, “This isn’t a matter of ‘looks like’, don’t underestimate an art student’s intuition. I’m better at recognizing bodies than faces. This is definitely you!”

Xu Yan shoved the remaining pizza into his mouth, cheeks puffed like a little hamster.
He gave up resisting and nodded.

“…Fine. It’s me.”

Lin Xingxian was so shocked, he couldn’t recover for a long time.
On one hand, he couldn’t believe the “goddess” had been right by his side all along.
On the other, he mentally cursed himself for being so blind that he’d never suspected Xu Yan.

“This is amazing!” Lin Xingxian said excitedly. “Yanyan, can I invite you to model for me again? I just saw your new photos and got another burst of inspiration. Who took those pictures? They really captured the essence!”

Xu Yan answered honestly, “My senior.”

“The mermaid photo too? The first one you posted?”

“Yeah.”

Lin Xingxian was thrilled to find another creator who shared his artistic sense.

“Can you introduce us? I think we’d really hit it off.”

“No problem. She actually already knows who you are, you just didn’t know her. I’m sure she’d love to meet you.”

Lin Xingxian was still riding a high from the discovery when he suddenly remembered something.

“Wait… your top supporter ‘Year’, don’t tell me…”

Xu Yan looked at him and knew what he was about to ask. He nodded quietly.
“Yes.”

Lin Xingxian looked like he’d just been struck by lightning.

“You’re telling me that year is Wen Sinian?! That bastard’s the one who’s been fighting me for top spot all this time?! Did he know it was you from the start?!”

Xu Yan replied, “He didn’t know at first.”

Lin Xingxian was skeptical.

“You’re underestimating him. He doesn’t even look at people he’s not interested in. When we were taking that elective, I immediately sensed he liked you. There’s no way he’d flirt with someone online and then come after you in real life unless he knew exactly who you were. That man, when he finds a target he wants, he’ll stop at nothing. He had to know who you were, that’s the only reason he kept throwing money at you like that.”

Xu Yan thought Lin Xingxian had a point.

After all, he’d known Wen Sinian for over a decade, probably understood him better.

But he didn’t know about the details of their online relationship.

Xu Yan thought about their past chats, the photos he’d sent, and the moment they met in person for the first time.

If Wen Sinian had known who he was all along… then what did their online relationship mean?
Had he just been playing along, watching Xu Yan struggle and panic, without ever saying a word?

No. He said he would never lie to him.

And he had also said that he never imagined something so coincidental would happen between them.

So Xu Yan quietly responded, “…That’s not it.”

Lin Xingxian realized he might have crossed a line and quickly changed his tone.

“You’re right. You know him better than I do now. Just pretend everything I just said was crap.”

Then he asked, “By the way, what happened to that painting I made? The one with you in it? If it was you, Wen Sinian must’ve bought it, right? Where is it? I want to admire it again.”

Xu Yan blinked.

“I’ve never seen it.”

Lin Xingxian frowned.

“Don’t tell me Wen Sinian bought it and hid it away?”

But then he paused.
“Wait, the timeline doesn’t add up. You two weren’t even officially dating back then, right?”

At that time, they were still just online lovers, and Wen Sinian didn’t even know “Yanyan” was Xu Yan.

If he had bought that painting… it’d be way too weird.

Feeling a little overwhelmed by all the tangled connections, Lin Xingxian begged Xu Yan,

“Please don’t tell Wen Sinian I was his rank-two rival. And whatever we talked about today, just pretend it never happened. If he finds out, I’m dead.”

***

That night, Xu Yan video-called Wen Sinian as usual.
Wen had been gone for three days, and they made a point to talk every night.

Before connecting, Wen Sinian opened the home monitoring app and watched for a bit.
He saw that Xu Yan had stayed home all day and hadn’t gone out once.

When Xu Yan’s pale, soft face popped up on the screen, Wen Sinian closed the app and greeted him gently, “Did you go out today?”

Xu Yan had just finished showering. His hair was still wet, dripping down, and his eyes sparkled like he was in a good mood.”

“I didn’t go out, but Senior Lin came over to keep me company. We even watched a documentary together, it was really well-made. It followed a journey across the African continent and told the stories of many tribes along the way. I’d love to try making a documentary like that someday. It would definitely be interesting. I could even use the camcorder you gave me…”

Wen Sinian didn’t say anything. He just kept staring at the screen, his gaze slowly trailing down from Xu Yan’s delicate brows and eyes to his flushed, moist lips, and the tip of his soft little tongue peeking in and out. Then lower, to the white, tender skin that couldn’t be hidden beneath the loose collar…

The more he looked, the darker his eyes became.

Three days. It felt longer than three years.

Xu Yan kept talking, but seeing the man on the other side simply staring at him without a word, he leaned in a little and asked, “Are you lagging? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Wen Sinian simply replied, “Baby, I miss you so much.”

Xu Yan asked, “Did you even hear what I was saying just now?”

“Mhm.” Wen Sinian repeated again, “I miss you.”

Lying on the bed, Xu Yan rested his chin on his bunny plush and looked at the screen with wide, glistening eyes. His voice was small, carrying a hint of grievance.
“I miss you too…”

With Wen Sinian gone, the villa felt even larger, hollow, lonely. Xu Yan couldn’t imagine how Wen Sinian used to live alone in such a cold house.

***

The next morning, Xu Yan left early, first meeting up with Shang Jia before heading to the hospital together to visit his grandmother.

That evening, Xu Yan didn’t want to go back to the villa alone, so Shang Jia brought him to her house instead. There were two empty rooms anyway, and she had always treated Xu Yan like a sister.

Xu Yan was still wondering how he should tell Wen Sinian that he didn’t want to go back to the villa for a few days, at least not until Wen returned.

But during their nightly video call, Wen Sinian’s expression was clearly cold. He stared at Xu Yan and asked, “It’s this late and you’re still not home?”

Xu Yan was clearly in pajamas, and the camera only showed his face, none of the unfamiliar background behind him.

How did he know?

“I’m staying at my senior’s place tonight,” Xu Yan explained. “I want to wait until you’re back before I return. I don’t like being there alone. I get scared.”

Wen Sinian’s expression eased slightly, and he softened his voice to coax him.
“If you’re scared, let Lin Xingxian stay with you. It’s troublesome to stay at someone else’s place.”

Xu Yan reasoned, “Senior Lin has his own things to do. He can’t come over every day. Besides, I’m closer with my senior sister, she’s the one who invited me to stay over.”

“Baby, be good.” Wen Sinian’s voice remained gentle, but his words left no room for argument.
“Tonight is fine, but tomorrow, go home. I’ll have the housekeeper come back to take care of you.”

Xu Yan didn’t understand why he was being so insistent. It’s not like he wasn’t going to go back, just not for a few days.

“I haven’t hung out with my senior sister in a long time. When you’re home, I never get the chance to see anyone else. Can’t I spend some time with her?”

Wen Sinian didn’t answer directly. He just stared at him.
“Not being obedient, are you?”

That sentence was like a magic spell. On or off the bed, it triggered a conditioned response in Xu Yan. His hips twitched twice, and the muscles at the top of his thighs nearly cramped up.

That deep, penetrating gaze from the other side of the screen wrapped around him like an invisible net. Even from a thousand miles away, it was as if he was tightly bound, unable to breathe.

Xu Yan could feel that familiar pressure. Maybe it was because Wen Sinian had been spoiling him too much lately. Xu Yan had grown bold, thinking that since the man wasn’t in the country, he couldn’t control him.

Frustrated, Xu Yan angrily hung up the call.

Even after calming down for a bit, he still felt Wen Sinian was too much, too unreasonable.

He didn’t know how other people acted in relationships. This was his first, so he had no basis for comparison. But he didn’t feel like some caged canary, locked away in a golden villa with clipped wings.

Why did this relationship feel like it was stripping away his freedom and autonomy?

Lying in bed, he angrily threw a set of air punches, then imagined his long-eared bunny plush was Wen Sinian and gave it a good ear-tugging scolding.

Still, scolding or not, Xu Yan only stayed at Shang Jia’s house for one night. The next night, he obediently returned to the villa.

The housekeeper had already come back and even made him dinner. With someone else around, the house no longer felt so empty or scary.

When Wen Sinian called again that evening, Xu Yan hung up without answering.

Lying in the master bedroom, using Wen Sinian’s pillow and blanket, Xu Yan furiously swore to himself that he wouldn’t talk to that overbearing man until he came home.

Luckily, ignoring two calls in a row didn’t result in any punishment.