Crossdress Ch67part2

His gaze clung to Xu Yan, able to filter out the chaos of the surroundings and only see him.

He was afraid Xu Yan would find out he was secretly watching again. Afraid Xu Yan would think he was some twisted, creepy stalker.

Afraid Xu Yan would get angry again. Afraid he’d say he never wanted to see him again.

Turns out that even when he wasn’t around, Xu Yan could still be this happy, this alive.

The egg-stuffed pancake wasn’t Wen Sinian’s taste, but he finished every bite.

This was a world where Xu Yan existed without him, and this was his first time stepping into it.

***

Xu Yan had run off somewhere with Shang Jia and Shen Nanli. Wen Sinian drove slowly back the way he came, retracing the route. Along the way, he passed by a night market, a small grocery store, an elementary school, and some street vendors…

When he returned to the narrow alley, he happened to see the elderly woman basking in the sun at the entrance.

Wen Sinian parked at a hidden corner and saw the old woman open her eyes, slowly walking toward him.

He immediately got out of the car and strode over to help her.

The elderly woman looked at him, her muddled eyes showing a bit of affection. “Four years… when did you get here?”

A wave of sourness surged in Wen Sinian’s chest. His hair was a little messy, and his voice was slightly hoarse. “This morning.”

The old lady understood and didn’t ask further. She simply said, “You haven’t eaten yet, right? Come in with Grandma, I’ll make you a bowl of noodles.”

She turned and walked toward the house. Wen Sinian paused at the door, carefully taking in the clean and tidy courtyard before stepping inside.

Grandma was already in the kitchen, calling from the window, “What are you standing there for? Come in and help Grandma.”

Wen Sinian nodded slightly and stepped inside.
***

Xu Yan and the others had gone to Shen Nanli’s place. Shen Nanli insisted on cooking for them and nearly set the kitchen on fire. Afraid of getting scolded by the adults, they cleaned up quickly and went out to eat instead.

Xu Yan and Shen Nanli brought Shang Jia to eat their favorite potato noodles. By the time they left, it was already dark.

Shang Jia was staying at Shen Nanli’s place tonight. She joked about alternating between the two homes to be fair. So Xu Yan rode his little electric scooter back alone.

When he got home, it was only 8 p.m., but the entire house was pitch dark.

Knowing that his grandma slept early, Xu Yan tiptoed inside and tried to turn on the lights, but nothing happened.

Then he remembered he hadn’t paid the electric bill. He reached for his phone, intending to ask Shang Jia to help pay it.

As soon as he flipped open the phone, a faint glow lit up the screen.

Before he could dial, he felt something was off. He looked toward the sofa.

In the darkness, there was a shadow, thick as ink, still and silent. It had been sitting there for who knows how long. Like a ghostly figure, it filled the room with a suffocating pressure, bearing down on Xu Yan.

His eyes widened. No wonder he’d felt uneasy upon entering, he’d sensed something inside.

Startled, he let out a scream. “Ah—”

But before the sound escaped fully, that shadow moved swiftly in front of him. A large hand gently covered his mouth, muffling the scream.

“Baby,” the shadow’s other hand held his waist to steady him. A familiar low voice whispered soothingly in his ear, “It’s me.”

Xu Yan’s heart pounded wildly. Even though he immediately recognized it was Wen Sinian, the panic didn’t subside.

“Grandma is sleeping, don’t wake her,” Wen Sinian whispered close to his ear. “I’ll let go. Don’t scream, okay?”

His lips were pressed tightly against Wen Sinian’s hot palm. His cheeks were squished slightly, leaving only his wide, shiny eyes illuminated by the glow of the phone screen. He blinked twice and nodded.

Wen Sinian slowly let go. But the moment he did, Xu Yan stepped back, putting distance between them. He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, staring at him in the dark.

Wen Sinian lowered his hand, his fingertips grazing the damp warmth left on his palm. He rubbed it in silence.

The room fell into heavy silence.

Then Xu Yan heard footsteps from inside Grandma’s room, followed by the sound of the door opening.

Crap. He really woke Grandma up.

He didn’t have time to think, he grabbed Wen Sinian and shoved him into the small study he used as a bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Grandma came out slowly with a flashlight, shining it at Xu Yan. Her voice was still drowsy. “Sweetie, you’re back. Why’s the power out?”

Xu Yan hurried to support her. “Probably an unpaid bill. I’ll pay it on my phone. Sorry for waking you, Grandma. Go back and sleep.”

She nodded and shone the light around the empty room, muttering in confusion, “Where did he go… maybe left already…”

Xu Yan’s heart was still racing. He didn’t answer, just guided her back to bed. Then he returned to the door, changed his shoes, and headed back to the small study.

The figure inside was still standing where he left him, not touching anything, not sitting.

That tall silhouette stood like a stone tablet, making the room feel even smaller and more cramped.

The tall figure stood like a stone tablet, making the room seem even smaller and more cramped.

Wen Sinian couldn’t describe how he felt right now. He spent the afternoon at Xu Yan’s grandmother’s house, chatting briefly and eating some vegetarian noodles cooked by her. They tasted exactly like the ones Xu Yan had made before. As his stomach warmed, his lips felt as if they had been smoothed down by a stone.

Later, he sat alone on the sofa, waiting for Xu Yan to come home. He wondered where Xu Yan had been that afternoon, who he had met, and what he had said. His possessive desire began to creep in again. He still wanted to know everything about Xu Yan, but he forced himself to just sit there.

He let the pain and astringency that infested him like dense vines envelop him, but he did nothing.

He had experienced, adapted, explored, and absorbed the environment Xu Yan had grown up in.

How could they not become one?

Xu Yan had already walked to his bedside in the dark and sat down. Before he could think of how to speak, the black shadow stood in front of him.

He had to look up high to vaguely see the outline of the black shadow.

Wen Sinian knelt on one knee in front of him, and Xu Yan lowered his head with his movement, finally looking down at him.

“Baby.”

Wen Sinian called him softly and gently, looking up at him with a humble, pleading attitude, and gently placed his hand on his knee.

“Don’t be angry, okay? I was wrong. I shouldn’t have hidden things from you, let alone lie to you. Please forgive me, okay?”

Xu Yan took his hand away from his knee, but was then held by his lower leg again, kneading it gently.

Wen Sinian knew best where he would get sore, weak, and swollen easily. He had been running outside all day and had played until so late, so he massaged the acupuncture points on his legs in different ways.

Xu Yan did feel comfortable being massaged, and Wen Sinian knew his body better than he did.

Anyway, it was a free treat, so Xu Yan frowned and let him massage his legs, and asked very coldly: “Who asked you to go home? And how do you know where you live? Have you installed any tracking software somewhere else?”

Wen Sinian: “Nothing else. I installed the tracking software on your phone because I was worried about you. But if you don’t like it, I won’t install it again, okay?”

Xu Yan frowned: “I don’t like it, It seems like you have been monitoring me all the time, and I am not a criminal.”

Wen Sinian’s tone sounded very sincere: “Well, the baby is not a criminal, it’s my fault.”

Xu Yan didn’t let him avoid the subject: “You haven’t said why you appeared at my house.”

Wen Sinian: “I got the address from Zhao Qingji. You sent a message to me and then disappeared without saying a word. Do you want to break up with me?”

Xu Yan bit his lower lip and deliberately did not speak.

Wen Sinian’s breathing was a little unstable because of his silence. He let go of his hand, knelt between his legs, moved closer, and sniffed the familiar fragrance on his body.

His mouth trembled, and his voice was very low, slightly hoarse: “Are you really going to break up with me?”

Xu Yan smelled the smell of cigarettes on him and wrinkled her nose. He didn’t like the smell very much, so he reached out and pushed him: “Stay away from me.”

Wen Sinian grabbed his hand and placed it on his cheek, his breath hot and surging: “Didn’t you say you loved me? Didn’t you say you wanted to be my family? Are you going to go back on your word?”

Xu Yan didn’t expect him to say that, and paused for a moment. This gave Wen Sinian an opportunity.

He put his arms around Xu Yan’s waist, buried his cheek deep in his soft abdomen, and pressed against him. His voice was deep and soft, and it actually sounded a little lonely and pitiful: “Baby, don’t do it.”