EHW Ch15

Pei Xin seemed to find Gu Fangzhi’s bad luck rather entertaining.

Even the sharp edges of his expression softened a little because of that faint smile.

Gu Fangzhi: “……”

 What kind of person finds joy in someone else’s misfortune?

If Pei Xin lived in the modern world, Gu Fangzhi thought, he’d probably be the type to binge-watch “Ultimate Human Fails Compilation” videos for fun.

Borrowing Pei Xin’s support to steady himself, he bowed and said with exaggerated sincerity, “Many thanks to Your Majesty. Your Majesty is kind to his subordinates, swift of hand, keen of eye, and possessed of unmatched strength.”

Pei Xin: “……”

He had just started thinking that Gu Fangzhi was amusing, and instantly lost all desire to talk to him again.

The accompanying officials were housed in inns near the temporary palace, so Pei Xin could summon them at any time.

According to his rank as a lowly logistics officer, Gu Fangzhi should have been assigned to one of those inns as well.

But Pei Xin specifically instructed Yang Luhai that Gu Fangzhi should also stay within the palace complex.

After all, even if Gu Fangzhi did use magic there, at least if he died, Pei Xin would know how it happened.

After a short rest, Pei Xin summoned the Right Chancellor and several senior ministers to issue a few orders, then returned to his quarters.

The servants had already tidied the rooms. Feeling uncomfortable in his traveling clothes, Pei Xin casually pulled a robe from the cabinet.

Yang Luhai instantly lowered his gaze and stepped behind the screen, 

Pei Xin was deeply suspicious by nature; no one was allowed near him while he bathed or changed.

Behind the screen, he undid his robe.

Though pale and somewhat brooding in countenance, years of training and battle had given him a fine build, broad shoulders, narrow waist, smooth and defined muscle lines that were lean rather than bulky.

While changing, something caught his eye.

“These pastries, were they brought in from the carriage?”

Yang Luhai froze for a moment before realizing he meant the plate set on the table.

He quickly answered, “They’re fresh from the imperial kitchen, Your Majesty. We would never serve anything less than new.”

He spoke nervously, terrified of being blamed and dragged out for execution over a minor slip.

Pei Xin only murmured, “Mm.”

He wasn’t angry. He’d only asked because the plum-blossom pastry looked like the same one he’d eaten in the carriage.

And naturally, that made him think of Gu Fangzhi, who had eaten that very same piece with him.

The thought left him oddly uneasy.

“Send these to Gu Fangzhi,” he said. “Let him eat more.”

Hopefully he’d get full, fall asleep, and stop causing trouble.

***

Meanwhile, at the inn, 

Several officials were huddled together, whispering resentfully.

“So Lord Wu, you too…”

“I can’t stand that Gu Fangzhi either!” one man said, face red with irritation. “He used to carouse with us like an ordinary man, everyone knew what kind of person he was! Now he plays the meek little lamb, smiling all day as if butter wouldn’t melt in his mouth. Who does he think he’s fooling?”

“Hah, once you become His Majesty’s favorite, of course we’re beneath you,” another sneered.

Lord Wu Ze stroked his goatee, calculation glinting in his eyes. “We’ve all heard the rumors about the gifts he’s taken. Our demands aren’t excessive, we only want him to speak a few good words for us before the emperor. If he can’t even do that… well, if Gu Fangzhi shows us no loyalty, he can’t expect any from us.”

“Lord Wu speaks truth,” another agreed. “When shall we confront him?”

“Tonight,” Wu Ze said. “His Majesty’s holding a banquet at the palace. We’ll talk to him then.”

Someone hesitated. “And if he refuses? Or worse, tells the emperor?”

“He won’t,” Wu Ze said darkly. “No matter how much the emperor favors him, he won’t overlook those past scandals. Whether Gu Fangzhi likes it or not, he’ll have to swallow this bitter pill.”

By evening, palace attendants indeed arrived at the inn to summon the officials to a simple banquet at the temporary palace.

In the front hall, Gu Fangzhi found Song Jingzhou and sat beside him.

Song Jingzhou’s eyes lit up. “Brother, that outfit looks wonderful on you.”

He had fallen asleep earlier, and by the time he woke, there wasn’t enough time to reload his save. The only one he had was from when they’d first arrived, and he didn’t want to replay the whole afternoon, so he’d just thrown on the nearest outfit, fine silver-white cloth embroidered with faint patterns, gleaming softly in the candlelight.

Even his hair ribbon matched, shimmering as it tied back his hair.

He looked clean, bright, and strikingly handsome.

Gu Fangzhi thought so too, though it did feel a bit too eye-catching.

Before long, Pei Xin arrived.

As always, he immediately located Gu Fangzhi’s position, ready to intervene should the man start fiddling with time again.

His gaze passed briefly over him, and he raised one eyebrow ever so slightly.

People called witches eerie and mad, wild-haired and deranged,  but Gu Fangzhi actually looked quite decent. In fact, the more one looked, the harder it was to look away.

Still, that was fine. If that damned Gu Fangzhi had been any uglier, he would have suffered more.

Once the banquet began, Pei Xin took up his wine cup and summoned one of the envoys to discuss future cooperation between their nations.

Just as the envoy was seated, Pei Xin sipped his wine and suddenly remembered something.

“Yang Luhai,” he said, “take away Gu Fangzhi’s wine.”

Last time Gu Fangzhi drank, Pei Xin had spent the whole night watching him fall on his face. He had no intention of carrying the man again.

Yang Luhai went over, holding a cup himself, and struck up small talk.

“Lord Gu, you’re twenty-two this year, aren’t you? Any lady you fancy? I have a distant cousin, sixteen, famous for her embroidery, how about- ”

Gu Fangzhi didn’t answer. Instead, he used magic to defeat magic, 

 “So what about you? Haven’t your family been pressuring you to marry? Planning for kids yet? Got the milk-money ready? You know, private tutors are expensive these days, got any promotion prospects? Huh? Huh? Huh?”

“……”

Yang Luhai’s smile froze, his face twisted in pain, and he slunk away without another word.

Yang Luhai relayed Pei Xin’s order to Gu Fangzhi,  then returned, barely suppressing a laugh.

Perhaps his grin was too obvious, because Pei Xin immediately noticed.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.

Yang Luhai recounted, word for word, the exchange between Gu Fangzhi and the attendant who’d tried to make small talk.

Pei Xin: “……”

Gu Fangzhi’s tongue was surprisingly sharp,  intentionally or not, he always managed to leave people speechless.

Still, that sharp tongue was about the only sharp thing about him.

Get him drunk, and he’s done for; let him walk, and he falls; put him on a horse, and he can’t even climb on.

As Pei Xin thought this, his gaze flicked back toward Gu Fangzhi,  just in time to see him rise and walk toward the door.

Probably going to relieve himself.

Pei Xin: “……”

He wanted to order someone to follow him,  to keep an eye on every move that walking disaster made,  but if the foreign envoys saw that he even sent guards after the man to the restroom, they’d probably think he was a pervert.

As he hesitated, a few men suddenly stood and followed in Gu Fangzhi’s direction.

Pei Xin recognized them.

The one leading them,  Wu Ze,  was an old minister from the previous reign.

In his youth, Wu Ze had been a farmer who once risked his life to save Pei Xin’s father during a skirmish. After the war, the late emperor rewarded him with rank and title.

But the man’s character was never good.

Just like the old Gu Fangzhi, he had long relied on the name of “imperial favor” to bully others and act without restraint.

Gu Fangzhi had changed,  they had not.

And judging by the look of it, they were heading off to cause Gu Fangzhi trouble.

Yang Luhai turned and asked, “Your Majesty, why the sigh?”

“You wouldn’t understand,” Pei Xin said.

If someone went to pick a fight with Gu Fangzhi, the man himself might not be harmed,  but Pei Xin would definitely end up with the headache.

After a moment’s thought, Pei Xin stood, clearly unwilling, gestured discreetly toward the shadows where his hidden guards waited, and said coldly, “I’m going out for a bit. Don’t follow.”

The envoy Pei Xin had been speaking with stared in confusion at the emperor’s departing back.

He’d thought the matter they were about to discuss must be urgent.

Instead, he’d spent the whole time watching Pei Xin fuss over Gu Fangzhi,  first having his wine confiscated, then listening to their idle chatter, and now walking out in the middle of their meeting.

The envoy turned to Yang Luhai. “So… why exactly did your king call me here?”

Yang Luhai smiled. “Haha, Heaven’s will is hard to guess.”

The envoy sighed and muttered, “Your king seems a little… strange.”

Yang Luhai: “Haha.”

He couldn’t disagree.

Pei Xin had always been strange. Before ascending the throne, he’d simply been hot-tempered, hating anyone who contradicted him.
Back then, if you paid attention, learned his moods, and played along, you could survive peacefully.

After he became emperor, though,  he grew even stranger.

Sometimes he’d freeze mid-step, sometimes grind his teeth for no reason, and often sent Yang Luhai to “check what Gu Fangzhi was doing.”

Impossible to read, and deeply unsettling.

Yang Luhai thought about it, then gave another helpless laugh. “Haha.”

Meanwhile, Gu Fangzhi, having finished relieving himself, wasn’t in a rush to return.

The palace grounds weren’t large, but they were beautiful,  lined with flowers and plants, the cool evening air clean and insect-free.

He strolled casually along the path,  until he saw several figures approaching him head-on.

He recognized the man at their head and cupped his hands politely. “Lord Wu.”

The man’s tone was sharp. “Gu Fangzhi, this official has something to say to you.”

Gu Fangzhi asked, “What is it?”

The group fanned out, surrounding him.

Wu Ze sneered. “Lord Gu, it’s been a while. Let’s have a chat.”

Gu Fangzhi: “?”

After listening for a bit, he finally pieced together what they wanted.

“So, you want me to mention you a few more times in front of His Majesty?”

“Exactly,” Wu Ze said. “Otherwise, don’t blame me for being impolite.”

‘Ah, great.’

Sure, he could reload, but if these men actually brought evidence of their corruption to Pei Xin and dragged him into the mess, it would still be a headache.

Reforming oneself was hard enough already.
Original body, Gu Fangzhi thought bitterly, you really knew how to pick your friends.

He made a quick save, then looked at Wu Ze. “You bastard.”

Then pointed to another. “You, too, bastard.”

And another. “You too, also bastard.”

Everyone: “……?”

Feeling refreshed after the round of insults, Gu Fangzhi calmly reloaded.

Now smiling pleasantly, he said, “Mm… this official will do his best.”

And standing just behind the trees, having arrived just in time to witness the entire scene,  Pei Xin: “……”

‘Pfft.’